Regardless of whether you decided to end your marriage or your spouse did, getting divorced is painful. Nobody gets married and expects for the marriage to end. Divorce can be expensive, stressful, difficult for your children, and erratic.
While it may not quite seem possible now, you can have a happier life after divorce than you can imagine. Keep in mind, the happiness won’t just become apparent automatically. You need to help it along by changing your mindset from one that expects more damage and pain, to one that starts to expect that you will have a fresh new start in life with boundless possibilities for the future.
The following are several ways to have a happy (or at least a happier) divorce:
- Think of the divorce as a step in the right direction. If you left your spouse, you must have had a good reason to do so, so you should know that you are moving forward with your life. On the other hand, if your spouse left you, know that having him/her stay wouldn’t make either of you happen, despite grieving the loss. Would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you? Don’t you deserve better? Holding on to your ex or the past will only cause more harm and prevent you from enjoying a fulfilling life. If you are having issues letting go of the anger or resentment, seek professional help.
- Be thankful for what you have. When you are sad and grieve for too long it becomes a habit. You then continue to focus on all of the things you don’t have, rather than the things you should be thankful for, such as your children, family, friends, and the opportunity to start a new life. When to begin to shift your focus from what you lost to what you’ve got or even gained, you begin to rise from the depths of divorce despair and prepare yourself for a better life after divorce.
- Focus on your children’s needs. Right from the beginning, you could focus on the needs of your children rather than your own. This allows you to put all of your energy into making your children happy, doing more fun activities with them, guiding them through change, developing new traditions, and helping them cope with divorce. Who knows, perhaps they may help you cope with it too.
- Create a plan for the future. Divorce changes everything, such as plans you had for the future with your ex. It is time to begin dreaming again about what you want from your life. It can be taking that exotic vacation you’ve always wanted, or finally motivating yourself to go back to the gym and work on the body of your dreams. What you’ll find out is that as you start to think about what you’ll be able to do, your plans can become the blueprint for a positive future.
- Find a support system. You may be hiding your despair form your kids, so you need a friend—or even a group of them—to help you get by. Find those that have the character and strength to listen and offer sound advice.
- Choose to be happy – Yes, happiness is a choice. You can choose to remain in the doldrums of despair by continuing to think the same thoughts day in and day out. Or you can choose to start thinking and doing things differently. Making the second choice over and over again help you develop the habit of being happy. It is possible to fake it until you make it.
If you are interested in filing for divorce in Illinois, contact Wakenight & Associates, P.C. and schedule a free consultation with our experienced divorce lawyer today.