When you filed for divorce, you probably did all the “right”and “expected” things: you hired an excellent lawyer, readsuggested books or articles, and logically prepared for your post-divorcelife. But when it comes to divorce, you can do all the “right things”and still spiral emotionally. After all, your life is changing forever.This is a stressful and emotionally taxing experience even when the legalprocess is going smoothly.

The only way to move forward is to shake up your life in a positive way.Your depression may be difficult to escape because your divorce is naturallyaffecting so many aspects of your life. To help you discover new and constructiveexperiences, the Illinois divorce attorneys at Wakenight & Associates,P.C. have created this list of tips to help you deal with divorce depression.

Tip #1: (Re)discover a New Hobby

It can be difficult to find time for yourself when you’re going througha divorce, working, and raising children. But this could be the perfecttime to rediscover a beloved hobby that’s been put aside for waytoo long. Alternatively, you can also discover a new hobby by lookingonline or experimenting with classes. Maybe you can even learn a new languageor instrument you’ve always been interested in. By staying busyand exploring yourself, you can rediscover confidence and maybe developsome new personal connections.

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Each November, countless families across the country come together to celebratetheir blessings and eat a hearty Thanksgiving feast. But, like most holidays,Thanksgiving can be an extremely difficult and emotional experience forthe recently divorced. For the first time in a long time, you may be aloneon a day that glorifies the ideals of “family” and “togetherness.”It’s completely natural to feel a little glum.

To help you find a little comfort this holiday season, the Illinois divorceattorneys at Wakenight & Associates, P.C. have completed this Thanksgivingsurvival guide.

Take Action & Avoid Depression

It’s hard to feel excited about a home cooked meal when your ex-spouseand children won’t be at the table. For people readjusting to singlelife, it can be difficult to get out of bed in the morning, let aloneenjoy a family-based holiday. Even so, you can still embrace the spiritof the day and summon the energy to create new Thanksgiving traditions.

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One of the first and most important steps in the divorce process is decidingwhich spouse is going to keep the family home. This helps a divorcingcouple decide who is responsible for paying the mortgage during and afterthe divorce. However, if the home was purchased using a VA loan, thisprocess can get a little more complicated.

VA Home Loans

A veteran may be eligible for a loan if they served their required termor were honorably discharged. This loan can be used to purchase a homeand help a burgeoning family start the next chapter of their lives. Theveteran’s spouse can share and enjoy their partner’s benefitsfor the duration of their marriage. However, once the divorce is finalized,these benefits are stripped away entirely.

Veterans can only receive one VA loan at a time, so they rarely want toleave the family home to their ex-spouse. It’s important that whicheverspouse receives the family home is able to afford it. If a single ownercan’t pay the full mortgage on their own, they may need to refinancethe house to secure a longer mortgage or lower the interest rate to makethe monthly payments more affordable. Usually, this option is only applicableif the veteran keeps the home or is willing to let their spouse have itfor the sake of their children.

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Establishing a child custody arrangement is one of the most challengingaspects of the divorce process. Unfortunately, it’s difficult formany ex-spouses to treat each other cordially once the divorce has beenfinalized. In fact, sometimes a resentful ex-spouse can behave in a waythat unintentionally influences how a child perceives their other parent.In worst-case scenarios, an ex may intentionally drive a wedge that separatesa child physically and emotionally from their other parent.

Parental alienation is a serious concern for many divorced parents. Theonly way to manage the situation is to recognize the signs of parentalalienation and, if necessary, seek legal assistance.

What Is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation occurs when one parent manipulates a child into disengagingemotionally from their other parent. By exploiting a child’s guiltand confusion, a parent can trick their child into attaching negativeassociations to their other parent. However, this creates a difficultpsychological dilemma that can permanently traumatize a child.

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Once the summer months fade into fall, children across the country startdreaming of the one night a year they can throw on their favorite costumesto knock on doors for yummy treats and playful frights. However, any holidayevent can be difficult for families once a divorce has been finalized,and Halloween is no exception. It’s not unusual for children tolack the Halloween spirit because they are still processing their newreality. As a responsible co-parent, it’s your responsibility toput aside your own complicated feelings to ensure that your child hasthe best Halloween ever.

We understand that this may be an emotional event for you as a parent.To help you get through this night, the Illinois divorce attorneys atWakenight & Associates have assembled the following helpful tips:

Tip #1: Don’t Put Pressure on Your Child

Some parents make the mistake of asking their child who they would preferto spend a holiday with. This puts an intense amount of pressure on achild that is still reconciling with a divorce and may be afraid to hurtone parent’s feelings. How can they have fun running around theneighborhood if they’re feeling guilty?

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